Kip and Dredge in Outer Space

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers!  We are a community of writers from around the world who post 100-word stories every week, based on a photo prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.  This week’s photo is graciously provided by the wife of fellow writer, Russell Gayer. Thank you, Connie!

Photo Copyright: Connie Gayer

Photo Copyright: Connie Gayer

Kip and Dredge in Outer Space

by Jan Brown

The landing module began its approach to Mars’ surface.

Kip pointed to the viewer, excited. “Look! The settlers are welcoming us. They painted a smiley face on the landing site.”

Dredge groaned in response. “Don’t be an idiot. That’s a cable. It feeds electricity to the underground city.“

“Then why is it above ground?”

“My guess would be erosion. Our settlements have had adverse effects on the planet’s surface.”

“If we’re living underground, who cares if we mess up the surface?”

“Look, moron, we colonized Mars to get away from the Earth’s poisonous atmosphere. We ruined Earth. Now we’re screwing up Mars, too!”

“One planet at a time….”

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Kip and Dredge Go to the Beach

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, where every story is a surprise!

The photo prompt this week is mysterious. Could it be mutant leeches crawling up from the ocean? Or a giant chain? What’s it doing there? Will Kip and Dredge, notorious slackers and mental giants, figure it out in time?

If you would like to read other Friday Fictioneers’ work, click the blue frog below my story. If you would like to create your own 100-word work of art, visit our fearless leader’s website–Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Addicted to Purple.

Photo Copyright: C. Hase

Photo Copyright: C. Hase

Kip and Dredge Go to the Beach

by Jan Brown

Kip and Dredge were participating in their favorite activity, dumpster diving, on an abandoned film set.

“Wow, look at this. Must be a prop from the old ‘King Kong’ movie.”

“This is no prop–it’s solid metal.”

Just then, a huge beast emerged from the ocean. But it wasn’t King Kong. It had a head like a meat cleaver.

“Oh, man, is that Guiron?”

“Yes, I’m Guiron.” The beast spoke English! “Are you the lunch guys?”

“No, man, we don’t have any lunch.”

“You misunderstand.” Guiron brought his cleaver-head down close. “You’re a little scrawny, but could be crunchy appetizers!”

Guiron - Image Source: http://godzilla.wikia.com/wiki/Guiron

Guiron – Image Source: http://godzilla.wikia.com/wiki/Guiron

Kip and Dredge Get Down with Science

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers!  Rochelle Wisoff-Fields leads our international band of fictioneers by providing a photo prompt to inspire us each week. Writers from around the world post 100-word stories, based on the prompt. You can see them all here, and you can post your own story, too!

Many thanks to Erin Leary for this week’s photo.

This week my favorite slackers, Kip and Dredge, found some back issues of Science and Discover magazines while dumpster diving. Fortunately, there are lots of cool pictures in these publications, which helped the guys get through all the science-y stuff.

Photo Copyright: Erin Leary

Photo Copyright: Erin Leary

 Kip and Dredge Get Down with Science

 by Jan Brown

“Hey, Dredge! It says here they found a mushroom on Mars!”

“Read the article, dumbass. It’s just a rock.”

“Well, this other article says they found meth on Mars!”

“I think you mean methane.”

“They say it could have come from Martian bugs.”

“What kinda bugs are on Mars? I thought it was all frozen.”

“I dunno, but they must be HUGE. Look at the size of the hole they made!”

“That’s a crater, dumbass. Anyway, it’s not living things that make methane. It’s their poop.”

“Where do bugs poop?”

“On Mars, apparently.”

 

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There has actually been a frivolous, but amusing, lawsuit filed against NASA for “covering up” the existence of the alleged mushroom. See the links below for more info about some of the Curiosity rover’s discoveries.

NASA Mystery Rock Lawsuit

Curiosity Detects Methane Spike

 

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Kip and Dredge on Route 66

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! We are a community of writers from around the world who post 100-word stories each week, based on a photo prompt provided by our effervescent leader, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week’s ominous-looking photo is by Dawn Q. Landau. Thank you, Dawn!

This week’s story features my favorite slackers, Kip and Dredge. It is their first appearance of 2014. Since we first met them more than a year ago, they’ve had eight adventures posted to the blog, seven of them for Friday Fictioneers.  I hope you continue to enjoy them.  Comments are welcome!

ROUTE 66 c2a9dawn_q-_landau

Kip and Dredge on Route 66

by Jan Brown

“Kip, why did you insist on taking your dad’s DeLorean? You said it was a movie prop!”

“Yeah, from something called Back to the Future.”

“In the movie, did the car light up, skid sideways, and wind up in a totally different location? Or are you just a terrible driver?”

“The DeLorean travels in time, not space. We’re at the western end of Route 66.  Should be Santa Monica.”

“What year?”

“2043.”

“Maybe this is all that’s left of California. The ‘big one’ finally hit!”

“The big what?”

“Earthquake, moron!”

“Bummer.  So…let’s drive back to Arizona and get some tacos!”

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Kip and Dredge, Attorneys at Law

I’m early again! It’s almost time for Friday Fictioneers, when writers from around the world post 100-word stories based on a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.  This week’s photo is by EL Appleby.

The last time we saw Kip and Dredge attempting to join the workforce, they were shoveling manure. Now we see their progeny in the 22nd century–as lawyers! Are the two jobs really all that different? You decide 😉

As always, I encourage you to read other Friday Fictioneers’ work by clicking the link that appears below my story. Enjoy!

Photo by EL Appleby

Kip & Dredge, Attorneys at Law

by Jan Brown

Log Date: June 7, 2113

Log Recording: Partners’ conference, downloaded from Attorney Dredge’s implant.

Note to IT: Attorney Kip’s brain implant had insufficient power—again.

“What the heck is that?”

“It’s a Horned Septet. Haven’t you been keeping current with patents issued for our clients’ living toys? The Horned Septet is produced by Appleby Toys’ brilliant BioSlice™ process.”

“I never agreed with the concept of patenting life forms.”

“Plants and microorganisms have been patented since the twentieth century. This isn’t a biological weapon; it’s just a kids’ toy.”

“But it’s part tiger!”

“That’s why we’re here today: the Wisoff-Fields’ lawsuit….”

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Kip and Dredge in the 22nd Century

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, when writers from around the world post 100-word stories based on a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.  This week’s photo is by Danny Bowman.

The object in Danny’s photo is quickly becoming obsolete. It’s rare to find one in working order–and working or not, they will soon qualify for antique status.  Think how rare it would be to find one in 100 years. It’s just the type of thing that my favorite slackers, Kip and Dredge, would pick up while dumpster-diving. But in a cleaned-up, high-tech world of the future, there may be no dumpsters.  How would our laid-back protagonists forage for discarded treasures? And how far could they perfect the lazy art of slackitude? Hmmm….

As always, I encourage you to read other Friday Fictioneers’ work by clicking the link that appears below my story. Enjoy!

phone danny-bowman

Kip and Dredge in the 22nd Century

by Jan Brown

“What is it?”

“It’s an antique communication device. I was the high bidder!”

“Communication? Are you kidding? That thing is bigger than a humanoid head! How would they implant it?”

“This was before the 88th amendment.”

“Which one is that? ‘Equal Rights for Clones’?”

“You really suck at history! It’s ‘Universal Tele-Implants.’ My point is, it’s an external device.”

“What does that mean?”

“Operated manually, outside the body. It was known as a pay phone. Its predecessor, the home phone, was the first device that enabled humans to talk to their friends without leaving the house.”

“THEY LEFT THE HOUSE?!?”

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Kip and Dredge Go to Work (Sort of)

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, when writers from around the world post 100-word stories based on a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.  This week’s photo is by Doug MacIlroy.

You can read other Friday Fictioneers’ work by clicking the link that appears below my story.

photo by Doug MacIlroy

Kip and Dredge Go to Work (Sort of)

by Jan Brown

Kip and Dredge spent most days smoking pot and wreaking havoc in their parents’ basements. When they weren’t dumpster diving.

Now they’d taken temporary work on a ranch, mucking stalls (whatever that was). They’d never seen real horses before.

Kip asked, “What’s on his face?”

The foreman said, “It’s a blinder. It’ll calm the horse, keep him still, make him easier to handle.”

“Wow. Don’t tell Mom. She might make me wear one.”

Dredge snorted. “Like that would make you less of a tool.”

“Jerkwad.”

“Toolbag.”

The foreman tossed them two pitchforks. “One for Jerkwad, one for Toolbag. Let’s go!”

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Music Appreciation with Kip and Dredge

My two favorite slackers, Kip and Dredge, are back this week–their first appearance in 2013. Also, happy birthday to my musical brother-in-law, who has a character namesake in this story.

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, when writers from around the world post 100-word stories based on a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.  This week’s photo is by Roger Cohen.

You can read other Friday Fictioneers’ work by clicking the link that appears below my story.

Enjoy!

Photo Copyright - Roger Cohen

Music Appreciation with Kip and Dredge

by Jan Brown

Kip emerged from the dumpster, straining to lift the heavy instrument and hand it to his friend.

Dredge took the bass and set it against the back wall of Mick’s Music. “Why do they throw away so many instruments?”

“Mick said a lot of them are too f*’d up to repair.”

“And those are the ones that we sell to Mr. Lewis at the middle school. That’s the sad state of music education.”

“Hey, is this really a bass?” Kip turned it sideways and strummed it like a guitar. “Doesn’t look like a bass!”

“You’re proving my point.”

“Whatever, dude.”

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Kip and Dredge at the Ghostly Diner

TGIF! (Well, almost.) This week’s treat is another Halloween-themed story.

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, when writers from around the world post 100-word stories based on a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.  You can read other Friday Fictioneers’ work by clicking the link that appears below my story. Enjoy!

Kip and Dredge at the Ghostly Diner

by Jan Brown

Kip shifted uncomfortably in the booth. “This place gives me the creeps. Why are all the plants dead?”

Dredge rolled his eyes and shook his head in mock dismay. “What!?” he squawked. “There’s a planter full of poppies and a whole forest of trees out there. Just look out the window, genius!”

“Yeah, but look at the plastic pots.  They’re empty—except for this little one with dead branches sticking up. There’s something weird about this place–like it’s haunted.”

A door creaked open in the back. The waiter glided over, skin so white it was almost blue.

“Told you.”

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For more Friday Fictioneers:  Read others’ stories, or add your own, here.

Modern Art (as curated by Kip and Dredge)

This story was inspired by Shannon Wendt’s (@wordswendt) #liblit prompt of the day: (character) “a man called Junior” &  bonus word: “portentous”.

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Modern Art

by Jan Brown

Junior brought home his new treasure and proudly displayed it to his girlfriend. “So…you think I can’t help you decorate the apartment? Look at this!”

Tanya regarded the monstrosity with a cynical look and sighed in her trademark, exaggerated manner. “Geez, Junior, it’s just a piece of junk! And what is that gooey stuff all over it?”

“Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to clean it up. Kip and Dredge found it on one of their trips around the neighborhood, so I promised them a beer if they’d let us have it. I guess we had a few. Beers, I mean.”

“I know what you mean, but I think you had more than a few! Only a stoner or a drunk would think this thing would look good in anyone’s apartment.”

“That’s what Kip’s dad said.  But I figured you had better taste. Younger. You know, pop culture. Hip hop.”

“What hip hop artist would put this crap in their home?”

“It’s not crap. It’s ironic. An artistic mobile made out of scraps of stuff we use every day. It makes a statement.”

“It’s ironic that you think it doesn’t look like crap. And the only statement it makes is, ‘I have no taste and no money for real art, so I go dumpster diving with my slacker friends.’ ”

“OK, can we agree to disagree? I’ll clean it up, and we can hang it out of the way, in the back hallway.”

“I have a better place for it.” Tanya yanked the trash-art out of Junior’s hand and flung it into the garbage can. The metal mobile struck the side of the trash can with a portentous clang that echoed throughout the apartment. “Now Kip and Dredge can rediscover it another day,” she smiled.