Fan Letter

Our NaPoWriMo challenge today is to write a fan letter. I’ve chosen to do this in the form of an ode to a certain famous blonde-haired, orange-skinned businessman and quasi-politician. The identity of the narrator may be a bit of a mystery until the sixth or seventh stanza.

Odes come in three basic types, and infinite permutations thereof. This doesn’t fit the classic rhyme schemes, so I’d have to say it falls in the category of the “Irregular Ode.” I kind of like the concept of being irregular, and it certainly fits the subject matter.


Oh, blonde delight, you thrill me when you speak

Your fake hair in a Fibonacci screw

Upswept there by hot air that blew

Your voice so gruff when in a fit of pique

And nothing that you say makes any sense

To thoughtful brains and ears, you seem so dense

Comedians love you, and the “common man”

But they’re the only ones who really do

Save trophy wife and kids who work for you

And, of course, the mental giants of the Klan

But still you thrill me and I think you know

Why I follow and encourage you so

You know my name but say it in a murmur

Your mind swirls with delusion and denial

You’re puzzled: why’s this journey such a trial?

You thought we could not lose, but now you wonder

If Lucifer and Mammon are enough

Perhaps your flagging campaign needs to get tough

Surely if you threaten to leave the GOP

They will back down and let you win

But your exit could compel a campaign flop

And rob the happy flush from your orange skin

I’ll still be behind you, all the way

But be careful not to fall too far

When you misstep, I’ll step out of the fray

I won’t wish on a falling star






Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s