Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! We are a community of writers from around the world who post 100-word stories every week, based on a photo prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.
This week’s photo was taken by fellow writer C.E. Ayr. Thank you, C.E.!
Trompe L’Oeil
by Jan Brown
I’d been lost for days in a dense forest. I finally emerged into sunlight, illuminating a snowy white shoreline. Whales frolicked in the crystal waters. It was idyllic! I was filled with a sense of joy and peace.
Then someone called my name….
I awoke in a hospital bed, a nurse checking my vital signs.
“Did someone find me on the beach?”
“Beach? No. You’ve been in a coma for days, ever since your car accident.”
Confused and upset, I slid out of bed and limped to the window.
There, in the mural across the street, was my lost paradise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To read other Friday Fictioneers’ stories, click the link below:
Fantastic story! Beautifully woven images. The narration is flawless.
Thank you very much!
Interesting. She was connected but somehow disconnected. Neat! 🙂
Thank you, Lorna. I wondered what it would be like to be in that world, however briefly, only to find out it was all just a fantasy.
What a way to wake up! Could be comforting, could be terrifying. Well done.
Thank you, Alicia!
Superbly described scene, Jan, reminded me of myself most mornings.
And thank you for the photo credit, but remember it is Rochelle who makes the selection.
Thank you, C.E.!
Well it is a nicer view than a plain building, that is for sure! Especially from a hospital bed!
Yes, it is😄
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Nice take on the prompt Jan.
Thank you, Sandra! I actually thought about a story in which people live in the world of the painting. They would only find out that their “world” is a mural when the building is demolished. But… that’s a longer story!
I like how you pulled this story together, walking through darkness and coming to light, all the while she was in a coma. Lovely!
Thank you, Melanie! I think she will miss her idyllic world now that she is conscious again….
I know what you mean… a few weeks ago I wrote a 1000 word story for a writing contest that is somewhat similar to your story here. 🙂
Great twist – I just read a book about post accident memories and confusion. Your story was a perfect parallel!
Thank you, Erin!
I love the idea that the mural has somehow pervaded this person’s unconsciousness at some point, making its way into their coma.
Thank you, Alistair!
There’s such a dream-like quality to this story, Jan. Really well done.
Thank you, Dawn!
That must have been a very confusing experience, and a bit eery, too. Wonderful story.
Thank you! It seems a bit eery to me, too.
Dear Jan,
I love the way you took him from dream/coma to consciousness. It seems to me that mural was a Godsend to him. Well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle!
I have quite a bit of experience transitioning from anesthesia to consciousness. After one surgery, I wasn’t waking up, so my doctor asked my two best friends to repeatedly call my name very loud. Apparently it worked…seeing as how I’m still here😀
The conscious and the unconscious combined; a feeling I know well!
Thanks, Dawn😀
Great story, Jan. I really like this. Somehow the mind knows. It’s so powerful, picking a restful image that hopefully helped heal. But yes, it is a paradise lost, which is clever too.
Thank you, Amy!
The idea of having that image being part of the painful waking up is brilliant.. maybe it even called the narrator back.
Maybe it did call him back! A beautiful, natural world might seem preferable to a painful post-accident existence.
Wonderful story! Would make you want to go back to the coma. 🙂
Thank you! I agree, the world of the coma seems pretty great.
Glad the mural was able to provide such joy. Much better than a mural of Bill Cosby!
Yes, much better! I doubt that BC is bringing much joy to anyone these days….
Such a shame to lose paradise like that. I’m told it’s not the first time that’s happened. I love how your story moves between the unreal and the real so smoothly. Nicely told.
Thank you for the kind comments, Margaret.